Modern Poetry Edition #59 {Girls}


The girls, the girls, they love Heavy D.,
but they just don't vote. Sorry Heav.
Speaking of Heav, an old MC once said,

"Thank heaven for little girls...
...and some of the other sizes too."

That MC was Maurice Chevalier, an old
French actor/singer dude
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maurice_Chevalier).

Anyway, on to the results.

Now listen, Cyndi baby, it ain't natural
for you to cry in the midnight. It ain't
natural for you to cry, way into the
midnight through.

No, No, No. No need to cry. You are
the winner, Cyndi. You stomped through
the competition like your voice cuts
through the still night air in Brooklyn.

Scores: Cyndi 7, Heavy D. 2, all others 1 a piece.

Cyndi becomes only the 10th girl winner in the
wing of the immortal MPulitzer here at the house
that Modern Poetry built. But what fabulous babes
they are! In addition to Cyndi are Cher, Britney,
Sinead, Liz Phair, Janis, Patsy, Carole King,
Stevie Nicks, Kelley C., and the chick from Human
League. I know that makes 11 (Cher and Human
League shared their awards with Sonny and the
dude from Human League so they only count half).

 
 
Modern Poetry Edition #59 {Girls}
[10/13/06]
**Girls Just Want To Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper
Catholic Girls by Frank Zappa
Girls Ain't Nothing But Trouble by DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince
Girls by The Beastie Boys
Gyrlz, They Love Me by Heavy D and the Boyz

**Winner of MPulitzer

 

Sorry, but we have no Spice Girls or Indigo Girls.
And still no Brown Eyed Girl from the Belfast Cowboy.
But Van does have a DVD coming out, his first ever.
It's a two-DVD set for $14 on Amazon. And guess what?
I recommend it. It will be fabulou-tastic! {GET IT HERE}

Now, back to the girls. There is no "Girl, you'll be
a woman, soon." Sounds a bit too Senator-to-page-y
or Clinton-to-intern-y. We strive to keep out of the
controversy here at the MP. We got fun girls with
Cyndi, Catholic Girls with FZ (if Van weren't already
The Man, wouldn't it have to be Frank?), Girl Trouble
From DJJJATFP, some typical Beastie Boys, and you know
that the Overweight Lover's in the House.

Here's a bit of tid: We have no "Valley Girl" in this
Edition. VG was included in way back in MP #4
(http://www.macdart.com/mp/mp_004.htm). #4! Holly Holy,
When was that? A hundred years ago? Nope, 5/10/04.

Well, follow this. There is no Valley Girl this week,
but in the song, FZ's daughter, Moon, says

   "He called me a beastie... Thats 'cause,
   like, he was totally blitzed"

And this was probably before the Beastie Boys were
anything. According to Wkipedia the Beasties got their
name, because they made it up: Beastie stands for
Boys Entering Anarchistic States Towards Internal Excellence!
Anarchistic?! Internal Excellence?! Why, it's like they
foresaw the Modern Poetry in 1986!

Finally, this edition features lyrics typed in by my own self
-- the first time that's happened in a looooong time. I
am a good google-cut-paste-er. But no, I transcribed the
Heavy D selection, so determined we were to get the Gyrlz
In. I hadda include it even if it meant pounding the keys
for nearly 20 mins. So forgive me now, if I just leave you
to the poems.

Enjoy. Have a Coke and a smile. Vote.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper
============================================================================
I come home in the morning light
My mother says when you gonna live your life right
Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones
And girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun

The phone rings in the middle of the night
My father yells what you gonna do with your life
Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one
But girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have -

That's all they really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
Girls - they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun

Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest of the world
I want to be the one to walk in the sun
Oh girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have

That's all they really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
Girls - they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun,
They want to have fun,
They want to have fun....

Catholic Girls by Frank Zappa
============================================================================
(Well)
Catholic Girls, With a tiny little mustache
Catholic Girls, Do you know how they go?
Catholic Girls, In the Rectory Basement
Father Riley's a fairy
But it don't bother Mary

Catholic Girls, At the CYO
Catholic Girls, Do you know how they go?
Catholic Girls, There can be no replacement
How do they go, after the show?

All the way
(That's right, all the way!)
That's the way they go
Every day
(That's right!)
And none of their mamas ever seem to know
Hip-Hip-Hooray
For all the class they show
There's nothing like a Catholic Girl
At the CYO
When they learn to blow . . .

They're learning to blow
All the Catholic Boys!
Warren Cuccurullo . . .
Catholic Boys!
Kinda young, kinda WOW!
Catholic Boys!
Vinnie Colaiuta . . .
Where are they now?
Did they all take The Vow?
Everybody!

Everybody dance!

Catholic Girls!
Carmenita Scarfone!
Catholic Girls!
Hey! She gave me VD!
Catholic Girls!
Toni Carbone!
With a tongue like a cow
She could make you go WOW!

VD Vowdy vootie
Right away
That's the way they go
Every day
Whenever their mamas take them to a show
Matinee
Pass the popcorn please
There's nothing like a Catholic Girl
With her hand in the box
And she's on her knees

She was on her knees
My little Catholic Girl
In a little white dress
Catholic Girls
They never confess
Catholic Girls
I got one for a cousin
I love how they go
So send me a dozen
Catholic Girls
OOOOOOH!
(Well well now)
Catholic Girls
(Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-mum)
Yai-ee-ahhh!
Catholic Girls
OOOOOOH!
(Well well now)
Catholic Girls
(Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-ma-ma-mum)
Yai-ee-ahhh!

Joe had a girl friend named Mary.
They would meet each other at the Social Club.
Hold hands
And think Pure Thoughts
But one night, Mary wasn't there
She was backstage at the Tower Theater sucking C***
So she can get a ticket to meet Ike Willis for free . . .

Girls Ain't Nothing But Trouble by DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince
============================================================================
Just last week when I was walking down the street
I observed this lovely lady that I wanted to meet
I walked up to her I said hello
She said you're kind of cute I said yes I know

But by the way sweetheart what's your name
She said my friends like to call me exotic Elaine
I said my name is the prince and she said why
I said well I don't know I'm just a hell of a guy
But enough about me yo lets talk about you
And all the wonderful things that you and I can do
I popped some cash and in a little bit of time
I showed some cash and the girl was mine

I took her over town I wined her and dined her
She ask me did I like her I said well kinda
All of a sudden she jumped out her seat
Snatched me up by my wrist and took me out to the street
She started grabbin all over me kissing and hugging
So I shoved her away I said you better stop buggin
She got mad looked me dead in my face
Threw her hands in the air and yelled out rape

I got scared when she started to yell
So I handed her my wallet and ran like hell
I was duckin through alleys right and left
But when the cops caught up they almost beat me to death
I was arrested charged with aggravated assault (yo clancy we got him)
But it wasn't my fault

Nevertheless don't mean to bust your bubble
But girls of the world ain't nothing but trouble
So next time a girl gives you the play
Just remember my rhyme and get the hell away

I was in a bar one friday night
Cooling watching a mike tyson fight
I was maxin and relaxin sippin on tequilla
When this girl walked up she said hi my name is sheila
I responded by saying hello
She paid for my drink and then said lets go
20 minutes later things were starting to cook
As we pulled up into her house I said I'm with you toots

The music was soft and there was wine in the glasses
She started winking and making little passes
At me she pat me close that's when she got bold
She started feeling up my back I said oh your hands are cold
We went to her bedroom thinking of one thing
Took the phone off the hook to avoid the annoying ring
I caressed her body and I kissed her cheek
And that's when I observed those satin bed sheets

I felt that it was time for me to make my move
I thought I better hurry up before I busted a groove
I leaned down to kiss her but then out of the blue
A door slammed and a voice said baby where are you
Her boyfriend busted in he grinned an evil grin
And said boy I'm a tear your butt limb from limb
I was scared as hell where I was supposed to go
I just yelled Geronimo and jumped out the window

Just my luck we were in a snow storm
And all I had was my underwear on to keep my warm
And to top the night off I had to break in my place
Because my keys were on pants back on Sheila's book case
I was done sneezing and coughing
I hope this doesn't happen too often

But nevertheless dont mean to bust your bubble
But girls of the world ain't nothing but trouble
So next time a girl gives you the play
Just remember my rhymes and get the hell away

Girls by The Beastie Boys
============================================================================
Girls, all I really want is girls
And in the morning it's girls
Cause in the evening it's girls

I like the way that they walk
And it's chill to hear them talk
And I can always make them smile
From White Castle to the Nile

Back in the day
There was this girl around the way
She liked by home-piece M.C.A.
He said he would not give her play
I asked him, "Please?" he said, "You may."
Her pants were tight and that's ok
If she would dance I would D.J.
We took a walk down to the bay

I hope she'll say, "Hey me and you should hit the hay!"
I asked her out she said, "No way!"
I should have probably guessed they're gay
So I broke North with no delay
I heard she moved real far away
That was two years ago this May
I seen her just the other day
Jockin' Mike D. to my dismay

Girls - to do the dishes
Girls - to clean up my room
Girls - to do the laundry
Girls - and in the bathroom
Girls, that's all I really want is girls

Two at a time I want girls
With new wave hairdos I want girls
I ought to whip out my... girls, girls, girls, girls, girls!

Gyrlz, They Love Me by Heavy D and the Boyz
============================================================================
Coolin' in my crib, and I'm cold maxin'
Call up a cutie, I'm in the mood for relaxin'
Get my phonebook from top of the shelf
I dial 66, hmm I better keep it to myself
Call up a cutie with a triple-star next to it
She says hello, we conversate a bit
Invite her over for a candlelight dinner
Believe me when I tell you that this girlie is a winner
Shortly after that, I hear the doorbell ring
Turn on the Radio, Anita Baker starts to sing
Open up the door and I kiss her on the cheek
She's so nice, polite, petite, so sweet
Sit her on the couch and I remove her coat
Squat next to her, mmm-hmm, clear my throat
Whisper in her ear, tell her what she wants to hear
Let her know to have no fear, Heavy is here, and
Girls, the girls, they love me {he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}
Girls, the girls, they love me {he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}

Take my hand. Walk with me.
I'm the imperial overweight lover MC Heavy D
Now that I've introduced myself correctly
Do you have a moment to spend some time with me?
Would you like a drink, maybe a pina colada
A strawberry daiquiri, some wine from Havana
It really doesn't matter, the choice is yours
And when you're through with your drink we'll take a walk outdoors
Gaze at the stars, walk down the boardwalk
Sit by the beach and talk lover's talk
Make a quick call on my cellular phone
And tell the limousine to pick us up and take us home
Ahhh, an enjoyable night
The mood was smooth and everything was all right
It may be hard for you, but it's easy for me
'Cause girls, the girls, the girls, they love me
Girls, the girls, they love me {he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}
Girls, the girls, they love me {he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}
Girls, the girls, they love me {he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}
Girls, the girls, they love me {he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}

{he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}

Me, Glenn and Troy went to a Disco
Pete Rock and steel smooth was on stage drinkin' Cysco
Damien had his girl, Michelle {of course}
Craig Boogie had a girl that I never seen before
Eddie F. was home makin' a deal
McTee was at the crib on a hundred twenty-fifth street
Tootie had a cutie that was dope
Groovy Lou, Kwan, and little Darrell's crackin' jokes
Grap had the dance floor backed
Joe Black was in the corner lookin' mean and ready to scrap
Tommy, George, Jeff and Bodder was on the spot
By champagne for the crew, a hundred dollars a pop
Me, I was casin' the joint
Clockin' all the people as they stared and point
It feels really good to be Heavy D
Because the girls, the girls, they love me
Girls, the girls, they love me {he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}
Girls, the girls, they love me {he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}
Girls, the girls, they love me {he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}
Girls, the girls, they love me {he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}

Girls, the girls, they love me

{he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}
{he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}

{he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}
{he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}
{he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}

{he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}

{he's the overweight lover, Heavy D}