# 4 #
[5/10/04]
Swingtown - SMB
Walking In the Rain by Oran "Juice" Jones
**Go See The Doctor - Kool Moe Dee
Hot Stuff by Donna Summer
Valley Girl - FZ
**Winner of MPulitzer
No voting this week. I am too busy reading fan mail and fending off the
press requests for interviews to count ballots. Modern Poetry is really
catching on!
Thanks for all of those who sent in requests, but this ain't Q107.5.
MP
does not do requests.
My apologies to the diabolical Biz Markie for all the typos is his prose
last week. I think the errors contributed to a lack of enthusiasm the
voters showed for the Vapors (which though not as popular is lyrically
superior to 'Just A Friend'). So I award the people's choice poem to
the Biz, instead of to Kylie who was included as a joke of course.
Can you spot this week's joke?
Enjoy.
Swingtown by Steve Miller
=======================================
Ooo oooohhhh
Ooo oooohhhh
Come on and dance, come on and dance
Let's make some romance
You know the night is fallin'
And the music's callin'
And we've got to get down to Swingtown
We've been workin' so hard
We've been workin' so hard
Come on baby
Come on baby let's dance
Come on, come on, come on
Come on, come on, come on
Come on, come on, come on
Ooo oooohhhh
Ooo oooohhhh
Come on and dance, come on and dance
We may not get another chance
You know the night is fallin'
And the music's callin'
And we've got to get down to Swingtown
The Rain by Oran "Juice" Jones
=====================================================
CHORUS:
I saw you (and him) walking in the rain
You were holding hands and I'll never be the same.
Tossing and turning another sleepless night
The rain crashes against my window pane
Jumped into my car didn't drive too far
That moment I knew I would never be the same.
I saw you (and him) walking in the rain
You were holding hands and I'll never be the same.
Now here you are begging to me
To give our love another try
Girl I love you and I always will
But darling right now I've got to say goodbye
'Cause
I saw you (and him) walking in the rain
You were holding hands and I'll never be the same.
(I saw you)
Hey hey baby how ya doin' come on in here
(Walking in the rain)
Got some hot chocolate on the stove waiting for you
Listen first things first let me hang up the coat
(You were holding hands and I'll)
Yeah how was your day today
Did you miss me
(Never be the same)
You did? Yeah? I missed you too
I missed you so much I followed you today
(I saw you)
That's right now close your mouth
'Cause you cold busted
(Walking in the rain)
Now just sit down here, sit down here
I'm so upset with you I don't know what to do
(You were holding hands and I'll)
You know my first impulse was to run up on you
And do a Rambo
(Never be the same)
I was about to jam you and flat blast both of you
But I didn't wanna mess up this thirty-seven hundred dollar lynx coat
So instead I chilled -- That's right chilled
I called up the bank and took out every dime.
Than I cancelled all your credit cards...
I stuck you up for every piece of jewelry I ever bought you!
Don't go lookin' in that closet 'cause everything you came here with is
packed up and waiting for you in the guest room. What were you thinking?
You don't mess with the Juice!
I gave you silk suits, blue diamonds and Gucci handbags.
I gave you things you couldn't even pronounce!
But now I can't give you nothing but advice.
Cause you're still young, yeah, you're young.
And you're gonna find somebody like me one of these days . . .
Until then, you know what you gotta do?
You gotta get on outta here with that alley-cat-coat-wearing,
punch-bucket-shoe-wearing crumbcake I saw you with.
Cause you dismissed!
That's right, Silly rabbit, tricks are made for kids, don't you know
that. You without me is like corn flakes without the milk! This is my
world. You're just a squirrel trying to get a nut! Now get on outta
here. Scat!
Don't touch that coat...
Go See the Doctor by Kool Moe Dee
=======================================
Three days later, go see the doctor...
I was, walking down the street, rocking my beat
Clapping my hands and stomping my feet
I saw a little lady so neat and petite
So was so sweet, yes I wanted to meet
So I asked this lady could I take her out
We could wine and dine and we could talk about
The birds and the bees in my waterbed
And you could treat me like a Buddha and bow your head
We continued to talk, and before you knew it
We were at my house and it was time to do it
As soon as I finished, I lost my poise
Ran outside and told all my boys
I said listen up fellas, come over here, bust it
They said did you get it? I said yeah, they said how was it?
The poontang was dope and you know that I rocked her
But three days later, go see the doctor
I rocked her to the left, rocked her to the right
She felt so good, hugged me so tight
I said good night
Three days later...
Woke up fussing, yelling and cussing
Drip drip dripping and puss puss pussing
I went to the bathroom and said mama mia!
I’m a kill that girl next time I see her
The madder I got, the more I reminice
Why is my thing thing burning like this?
Well I remember the first day I saw that girl
I just couldn’t wait to rock her world
I said hey good looking, what you got cooking?
What have I done stuck my dick in?
Now I know why her ex-boyfriend Dave
Calls her Mrs.. microwave
Cause she was hotter than an oven and I had to learn
The hard way stay in the microwave too long you get burned
But the poontang was dope and you know that I rocked her
But three days later, go see the doctor
I went to the doctor’s office, I said what have I got?
He said turn around boy and take this shot
I looked at him like he was crazy, and I said what?
Ain’t nobody sticking nothing in my butt
He turned and said in a real deep voice
Have it your way, if that’s your choice
And I’ll put it down if you want me to put it
But don’t blame me if it turns into a foot
Extending from the middle of your body
And the next time you see your cute hottie
You won’t be able to screw, the only thing you can do
Is just kick her, so go take karate
As I turned around to receive my injection
I said next time I’ll use some protection
If I see another girl and I get an erection
I’m walking in the other direction
Cause I don’t wanna do the sick sick dance
So I’m keeping my prick inside my pants
And if I see another girl and I know I can rock her
Before I push up I’ll make her go see the doctor
Hot Stuff by Donna Summer
============================================
Sittin' here eatin' my heart out waitin'
Waitin' for some lover to call
Dialed about a thousand numbers lately
Almost rang the phone off the wall
Lookin' for some hot stuff baby this evenin'
I need some hot stuff baby tonight
I want some hot stuff baby this evenin'
Gotta have some hot stuff
Gotta have some love tonight
I need hot stuff
I want some hot stuff
I need some hot stuff
Lookin' for a lover who needs another
Don't want another night on my own
Wanna share my love with a warm blooded lover
Wanna bring a wild man back home
Gotta have some hot love baby this evenin'
I need some hot stuff baby tonight
I want some hot stuff baby this evenin'
Gotta have some lovin'
Gotta have love tonight
I need hot stuff
Hot love
Lookin' for hot love
How's about some hot stuff baby this evenin'
I need some hot stuff baby tonight
Lookin' for my hot stuff baby this evenin'
I need some hot stuff baby tonight, yeah-yeah
I want some hot stuff this evenin'
I want some hot stuff baby tonight
Valley Girl by Frank Zappa (with Moon)
============================================
Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Okay, fine
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
In a clothing store
Okay, fine...
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
In a clothing store
Like, OH MY GOD! (Valley Girl)
Like - TOTALLY (Valley Girl)
Encino is like SO BITCHEN (Valley Girl)
There's like the Galleria (Valley Girl)
And like all these like really great shoe stores
I love going into like clothing stores and stuff
I like buy the neatest mini-skirts and stuff
It s like so BITCHEN cuz like everybody's like
Super-super nice
It's like so BITCHEN
On Ventura, there she goes
She just bought some bitchen clothes
Tosses her head 'n flips her hair
She got a whole bunch of nothin in there
Anyway, he goes are you into S and M?
I go, oh RIGHT .
Could you like just picture me in like a
LEATHER TEDDY
Yeah right, HURT ME, HURT ME...
I'm sure! NO WAY!
He was like freaklng me out...
He called me a BEASTIE...
That's cuz like he was totally BLITZED
He goes like BAG YOUR FACE!
I'm sure!
Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Okay, fine...
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
So sweet 'n pure
Okay, fine
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
So sweet 'n pure
It's really sad (Valley Girl)
Like my English teacher
He's like (Valley Girl)
He's like Mr. BU-FU (Valley Girl)
We're talking Lord God King BU-FU (Valley Girl)
I am SO SURE
He's like so GROSS
He like sits there and like plays with all his rings
And he like flirts with all the guys in the class
It's like totally disgusting
I'm like so sure It's like BARF ME OUT...
Gag me with a spoon!
Last idea to cross her mind
Had something to do with where to find
A pair of jeans to fit her butt
And where to get her toenails cut
So like I go into this like salon place, y'know
And I wanted like to get my toenails done
And the lady like goes, oh my God, your toenails
Are like so GRODY
It was like really embarassing
She's like OH MY GOD, like BAG THOSE TOENAILS
I'm like sure...
She goes, uh, I don't know if I can handle this,
y'know...
I was like really embarassed.. .
Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Okay, fine
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
And there is no cure
Okay, fine
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
And there is no cure
Like my mother is like a total space cadet (Valley Girl)
She like makes me do the dishes and (Valley Girl)
CLEAN the cat box (Valley Girl)
I am sure
That's like GROSS (Valley Girl)
BARF OUT! (Valley Girl)
OH MY GOD (Valley Girl
Hi!
Uh-huh (Valley Girl)
My name?
My name is Ondrya Wolfson (Valley Girl)
Uh -huh
That's right, Ondrya (Valley Girl)
Uh -huh...
I know (Valley Girl)
It's like...
I do not talk funny...
I'm sure (Valley Girl)
Whatsa matter with the way I talk? (Valley Girl)
I am a VAL, I know
But I live in like in a really good part of Encino so
it's okay (Valley Girl)
So like, I don't know
I'm like freaking out totally
Oh my God!
Hi - I have to go to the orthodontist
I'm getting my braces off, y'know
But I have to wear a retainer
That's going to be really like a total bummer
I'm freaking out
I'm SURE
Like those things that like stick in your mouth
They're so gross...
You like get saliva all over them
But like, I don't know, it's going to be cool, y'know
So you can see my smile
It'll be like really cool
Except my like my teeth are like too small
But NO BIGGIE...
It's so AWESOME
It's like TUBULAR, y'know
Well, I'm not like really ugly or anything
It's just like
I don't know
You know me, I'm like into like the clean stuff
Like PAC-MAN and like, I don't know
Like my mother like makes me do the dishes
It's like so GROSS. . .
Like all the stuff like sticks to the plates
And its like, it's like somebody else's food, y'know
It's like GRODY...
GRODY TO THE MAX
I'm sure
It's like really nauseating
Like BARF OUT
GAG ME WITH A SPOON
GROSS
I am SURE
TOTALLY...