Modern Poetry Edition #67

Modern Poetry Edition #67 {English 101}

Bone up on your usage, people. It's come to our attention that some MP
readers are old enough to use a little refresher on their freshman English.
And we all know from Schoolhouse Rock and Rapping Rodney that the best way
to learn is when song content is educationalistic or edutaining or whatnot.

I think everything is self-explanatory, but if some of Nelly's lesson
throws you, go here for additional help: (rapdictionary)

Since I was feeling lazy, I thought I would google a few grammar jokes
and substitute them for my usual witty banter. Ho-lee, there are some bad
grammar joke sites. Trust me, you should thank me for not subjecting you
to them. Instead here're some cheesy puns:

-------
The confused young man couldn't decide whether to marry Kathryn or Edith.
Try as he might, he just could not make up his mind.
Unwilling to give up either, he strung them along for far too long.
This indecision continued until both young women got tired of the situation and left him for good.
The moral of the story: You can't have your Kate and Edith too!
-------
A piece of string walked into a small town on a hot, dusty day.
He was thirsty, so he sauntered into the first establishment he
encountered and asked the waiter for a glass of water.
"Sorry", said the waiter, "we don't serve strings here."
Discouraged, the string walked out. A little further down the
street, he met a stranger.
"You look hot," said the stranger. "Why don't you go into that
cafe and get a drink of water?"
"I tried that," said the string, "but the waiter wouldn't serve
me anything because I'm just a string."
"No problem" said the stranger. "I'll fix you up." He grabbed
the string, tied him in a bowline and frayed his ends. "Now try it."
The string slipped back into the cafe and asked the waiter for a
glass of water. "Hey," said the waiter, "aren't you the piece of
string that was just in here?"
"Nope," retorted the string, "I'm a frayed knot."
-------

And if that wasn't enough, here is a picture of OJ with a smirk on his face.

Hope your football team is 4-0!

--Sean

Modern Poetry Edition #67 {English 101}
[9/25/07]
Country Grammar by Nelly
Words by Missing Persons
Wordy Rappinghood by Tom Tom Club
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Adverbs Here by Bob Dorough
More Then Words by Extreme

**Winner of MPulitzer

Country Grammar by Nelly
===========================================================================
Hmmmmm... I'm goin down down baby, yo' street in a Range Rover (c'mon)
Street sweeper baby, cocked ready to let it go (HOT SHIT!)
Shimmy shimmy cocoa what? Listen to it pound
Light it up and take a puff, pass it to me now
I'm goin down down baby, yo' street in a Range Rover
Street sweeper baby, cocked ready to let it go
Shimmy shimmy cocoa what? Listen to it pound
Light it up and take a puff, pass it to me now

Mmmmm, you can find me, in St. Louis rollin on dubs
Smokin on dubs in clubs, blowin up like cocoa puffs
Sippin Bud, gettin perved and getting dubbed
Daps and hugs, mean mugs and shoulder shrugs
And it's all because, 'ccumulated enough scratch
just to navigate it, wood decorated on chrome
and it's candy painted, fans fainted - while I'm entertainin
Wild ain't it? How me and money end up hangin
I hang with Hannibal Lector (HOT SHIT!) so feel me when I bring it
Sing it loud (what?)
I'm from the Lou and I'm proud
Run a mile - for the cause, I'm righteous above the law
Playa my style's raw, I'm "Born to Mack" like Todd Shaw
Forget the fame, and the glamour
Give me D's wit a rubber hammer
My grammar be's ebonics, gin tonic and chronic
Fuck bionic it's ironic, slammin niggaz like Onyx
Lunatics til the day I die
I run more game than the Bulls and Sonics

Hmmmmm... I'm goin down down baby, yo' street in a Range Rover (c'mon)
Street sweeper baby, cocked ready to let it go (HOT SHIT!)
Shimmy shimmy cocoa what? Listen to it pound
Light it up and take a puff, pass it to me now
I'm goin down down baby, yo' street in a Range Rover
Street sweeper baby, cocked ready to let it go
Shimmy shimmy cocoa what? Listen to it pound
Light it up and take a puff, pass it to me now

Who say pretty boys can't be wild niggaz?
Loud niggaz, O.K. Corral niggaz
Foul niggaz, run in the club and bust in the crowd nigga
How nigga? Ask me again and it's goin down nigga
Now nigga, come to the circus and watch me clown nigga
Pound niggaz, what you be givin when I'm around nigga
Frown niggaz, talkin shit when I leave the town nigga
Say now, can you hoes come out to play now
Hey I'm, ready to cut you up any day now
Play by, my rules Boo and you gon' stay high
May I, answer yo' +Third Question+ like A.I.
Say hi, to my niggaz left in the slamma
From St. Louis to Memphis
From Texas back up to Indiana, Chi-Town
K.C. Motown to Alabama
L-A, New York Yankee niggaz to Hotlanta
'ouisiana, all my niggaz wit "Country Grammar"
Smokin blunts in Savannah
Blow thirty mill' like I'm Hammer

Let's show these cats to make these milli-ons
So you niggaz quit actin silly, mon
+Kid+ quicker than +Billy+, mon
Talkin really and I need it mon
Flows I kick 'em freely mon, 'specially off Remi, mon
Keys to my Beemer, mon - holla at Beenie Man
See me, mon, cheifin rollin deeper than any mon
through Jennings mon, through U-City back up to Kingsland
wit nice niggaz, sheist niggaz who snatch yo' life niggaz
Trife niggaz, who produce and sell the same beat twice, nigga
(HOT SHIT!) Ice niggaz, all over close to never sober
From broke to havin bro-kers my price Range is Rover
Now I'm knockin like Jehovah - let me in now, let me in now
Bill Gates, Donald Trump let me in now
Spin now, I got money to lend my friends now
We in now, candy Benz, Kenwood and 10"s now
I win now (Whoo!) Fuckin lesbian twins now
Seein now, through the pen I make my ends now

Words by Missing Persons
===========================================================================
Do you hear me; Do you care Do you hear me; Do you care

My lips are moving and the sound's coming out
The words are audible but I have my doubts
That you realize what has been said
You look at me as if you're in a daze
It's like the feeling at the end of the page
when you realize you don't know what you just read

What are words for when no one listens anymore
What are words for when no one listens
What are words for when no one listens it's no use talkin at all

I might as well go up and talk to a wall
'cause all the words are having no effect at all
It's a funny thing am I all alone

Something has to happen to change the direction
What little filters through is giving you the wrong impression
It's a sorry state I say to myself

What are words for when no one listens anymore
What are words for when no one listens
What are words for when no one listens it's no use talkin at all

Do you hear me; Do you care Do you hear me; Do you care

Let me get by
Over your dead body
Hope to see you soon
When will I know
Doors three feet wide with no locks open
Walking always backwards in the faces of strangers
Time could be my friend
But it's less than nowhere now
less than nowhere now
less than nowhere now
Now, ow ow ow

Pursue it further and another thing you'll find
Not only are they deaf and dumb they could be going blind and no one notices
I think I'll dye my hair blue

Media overload bombarding you with action
It's getting near impossible to cause distraction
Someone answer me before I pull out the plug

What are words for when no one listens anymore
What are words for when no one listens
What are words for when no one listens it's no use talkin at all

Do you hear me; Do you care Do you hear me; Do you care

tell me what are words for, Do you hear me
tell me what are words for, Do you care
tell me what are words for, Do you hear me
so tell me what are words for, Do you care
so tell me what are words for, Do you hear me
tell me what are words for, so tell me what are words for, Do you care
so tell me what are words for, Do you hear me
tell me what are words for, so tell me what are words for, Do you care
so tell me what are words for

Wordy Rappinghood by Tom Tom Club
===========================================================================
What are words worth?
What are words worth? Words

Words in papers, words in books
Words on TV, words for crooks
Words of comfort, words of peace
Words to make the fighting cease

Words to tell you what to do
Words are working hard for you
Eat your words but don't go hungry
Words have always nearly hung me

What are words worth?
What are words worth? Words

Words of nuance, words of skill
And words of romance are a thrill
Words are stupid, words are fun
Words can put you on the run

Mots pressés, mots sensés
Mots qui disent la vérieté
Mots maudits, mots mentis
Mots qui manquent le fruit d'esprit

What are words worth?
What are words worth? Words

It's a rap race with a fast pace

Concrete words, abstract words
Crazy words and lying words
Hazy words and dying words
Words of faith and tell me straight

Rare words and swear words
Good words and bad words

What are words worth?
What are words worth? Words

Words can make you pay and pay
Four-letter words I cannot say
(Panty, toilet, dirty devil)
Words are trouble, words are subtle

Words of anger, words of hate
Words over here (Words out there!)
In the air and everywhere

Words of wisdom, words of strife
Words that write the book I like
Words won't find no right solution
To the planet earth's pollution

Say the right word, make a million
Words are like a certain person
Who can't say what they mean
Don't mean what they say

(With a rap rap here
And a rap rap there
Here a rap, there a rap
Everywhere a rap, rap)

Rap it up for the common good
Let us enlist the neighbourhood

(It's okay, I've overstood... This is a wordy rappinghood.
Okay, bye)

What are words worth?
What are words worth? Words

He'll stop, don't stop. He'll stop, he'll stop
He'll stop, don't stop. He'll stop, he'll stop

He'll stop, don't stop. He'll stop!

Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Adverbs Here by Bob Dorough
===========================================================================
Hmmmmm... hmmmmm... hmmmmm!!!

Ready pop?
Yep.
Ready son?
Uh-huh.
Let's go!
Let's go!
One! two!

Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, get your adverbs here.
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, got some adverbs here.
Come on down to Lolly's, get the adverbs here!
You're going to need
If you write or read,
Or even think about it.

Lolly Lolly Lolly, get your adverbs here.
Got a lot of lolly, jolly adverbs here.
Anything you need and we can make it absolutely clear...

An adverb is a word
(That's all it is! and there's a lot of them)
That modifies a verb,
(Sometimes a verb and sometimes)
It modifies an adjective, or else another adverb
And so you see that it's positively, very, very, necessary.

Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, get your adverbs here.
Father, son, and Lolly selling adverbs here.
Got a lot of adverbs, and we make it clear,
So come to Lolly! (Lolly, Lolly, Lolly)

Hello, folks, this is Lolly, Sr., saying we have every adverb in the book, so come on down and look.

Hello folks, Lolly, Jr. here. Suppose your house needs painting -- how are you going to paint it? That's where the adverb comes in. We can also give you a special intensifier so you can paint it very neatly or rather sloppily.

Hi! Suppose you're going nut-gathering; your buddy wants to know where and when. Use an adverb and tell him!

Get your adverbs!

Use it with an adjective, it says much more,
Anything described can be described some more.
Anything you'd ever need is in the store,
And so you choose very carefully every word you use.

Use it with a verb, it tells us how you did,
Where it happened, where you're going, where you've been.
Use it with another adverb -- that's the end.
And even more...

How, where, or when,
Condition or reason,
These questions are answered
When you use an adverb.

Come and get it!

Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, get your adverbs here.
Quickly, quickly, quickly, get those adverbs here.
Slowly, surely, really learn your adverbs here.
You're going need 'em if you read 'em,
If you write or talk or think about 'em ... Lolly! (Lolly, Lolly, Lolly)

Announcer: If it's an adverb, we have it at Lolly's! Bring along your old adjectives, too - like slow, soft, and sure. We'll fit 'em out with our L-Y attachment and make perfectly good adverbs out of them!

(Get your adverbs here!) Lots of good tricks at Lolly's so come on down.
(Lolly, Lolly, Lolly!)

Adverbs deal with manner, place, time,
(Lolly, Lolly, Lolly!)
Condition, reason,
(Father, son, and Lolly)

Comparison, contrast
(Lolly, Lolly, Lolly)
Enrich your language with adverbs!
(Lolly, Lolly, Lolly)

Besides, they're absolutely free!
(Lolly, Lolly, Lolly)

At your service!
Indubitably!

More Then Words by Extreme
===========================================================================
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words