Modern Poetry Edition #22, (Advanced Placement MP)


This is going to be one long email, and to keep it extry long I'm leaving in
the actual poems. It's taken a while, but check out the commentary.
There's some good stuff and some decent stuff and some stuff that's been
submitted for the gentlemanly 'C' grade, but it's all included for your
review.

Here is the winner:  Cheeseburger in Paradise. Note all the excellent
analysis (AT THE BOTTOM).

Modern Poetry #22
[11/10/04]
The Humpty Dance - Digital Underground
**Cheeseburger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffet
When I Was With You - Jewel
Get Loose - Vanilla Ice
The Motorcycle Song - Arlo Guthrie

**Winner of MPulitzer

Jewel, Arlo, Buffet, Humpty-Hump, and Vanilla Ice,
today's Frost, Keats, E.A. Robinson, cummings, and
Dickinson? May-be!

Since MP readers in the last few editions have shown
impeccable taste and employed fine critical analysis
to determine the winners, we at the MPHQ offer up
this Advanced Placement MP. This week we ask you to
read, enjoy, and analyze the selections. Then vote
for your favorite.

For the advanced placement credit, submit your two
cents worth on a general theme to tie these seemingly
disparate selections together. It should be a theme
common to each poem in this edition, but obviously
some selections will portray a given theme better
than others. Identify the strongest exemplars of your
theme and any unifying undercurrents you would like to
point out. Don't go nuts -- this is not meant to be a
symbolism-hunt. We do not plan on stressing symbolism
until we begin offering the Post-Modern Poetry!

Also, this is not meant to have you all ponder the
deep poetic value of "Whoopi Goldberg's breasts" or of
"Richard Nixon's last pair of clean underwear," both of
which are mentioned in Jewel's contribution to the
week's MP. As you know, Jewel is a modern published
poet who has even written poems that are not songs. We
are impressed, though we admit we have not read any of
those tuneless ancient-style poems. But as for Whoopi
and Nixon, just leave Tricky Dick's drawers and Whoopi's
cans alone. We have heard all we want to about that
and those.

The week's best commentary and analysis will be included
in the awards segment of the show.

And if you are not into the analysis and interpretations,
just enjoy. And Vote.

-Chief Editor, MP


The Humpty Dance - Digital Underground
================================================================
All right! Stop whatcha doin' 'cause I'm about to ruin
the image and the style that ya used to.
I look funny - but yo I'm makin' money see
so yo! world I hope you're ready for me.

Now gather round I'm the new fool in town
and my sound's laid down by the Underground.
I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf
so just let me introduce myself

My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.
Yo ladies, oh how I'd like to hump thee.
And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee.
I'm steppin' tall, y'all,
and just like Humpty Dumpty, you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me.

I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky, I'm spunky.
I like my oatmeal lumpy.
I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
hey yo fat girl, c'mere--are ya ticklish?

Yeah, I called ya fat. Look at me, I'm skinny
It never stopped me from gettin' busy
I'm a freak I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

I'm crazy.
Allow me to amaze thee.
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.
I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants
and I even got my own dance

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"
that's all right 'cause I get things cookin'
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
but ya can't get near me
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B,
all the girls they adore me

Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear.
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge,
both how I'm livin' and my nose is large

I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid
I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it,
I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits
Also told ya that I like to bite

Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write.
All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance
and now I'm gonna do my dance.

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here
Oh, yeah! Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do--check it out

First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'
Crazy wack funky...
People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty
That's all right 'cause my body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion

Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
No two people will do it the same
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
Humpin', funkin', jumpin', jig around, shakin' ya rump,
and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump
tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump.

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump
Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Let's get stoopid!

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Oh, yeah, come on and break it down
Once again, the Underground is in the house
I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world,
keep on doin' the Humpty Dance, and to the ladies,
peace and humptiness forever


Cheeseburger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffet
================================================================
Tried to amend my carnivorous habits
Made it nearly seventy days
Losiní weight without speed, eatiní sunflower seeds
Drinkiní lots of carrot juice and soakiní up rays

But at night Iíd had these wonderful dreams
Some kind of sensuous treat
Not zuchinni, fettucini or bulghar wheat
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat

Cheeseburger in paradise (paradise)
Heaven on earth with an onion slice (paradise)
Not too particular not too precise (paradise)
Iím just a cheeseburger in paradise

Heard about the old time sailor men
They eat the same thing again and again
Warm beer and bread they said could raise the dead
Well it reminds me of the menu at a holiday inn

Times have changed for sailors these days
When Iím in port I get what I need
Not just havanas or bananas or daiquiris
But that american creation on which I feed

Cheeseburger in paradise (paradise)
Medium rare with mustard íbe nice (paradise)
Heaven on earth with an onion slice (paradise)
Iím just a cheeseburger in paradise

I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well good God almighty which way do I steer for my

Cheeseburger in paradise (paradise)
Makiní the best of every virtue and vice (paradise)
Worth every damn bit of sacrifice (paradise)
To get a cheeseburger in paradise
To be a cheeseburger in paradise
Iím just a cheeseburger in paradise

I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well good God almighty which way do I steer for my
cheeseburger in paradise


When I Was With You - Jewel
================================================================
This song was written by Jewel and Steve Poltz--Jewel wrote the
lyrics, but the music (melody) was written by Steve for a song with
different lyrics that appears on Morning Wood. This was Jewel's
response to that song, told from the female's point of view.

Do you remember when we were younger,
all those crazy things that we used to do?
You'd play my hips like drumsets
and sing all your favorite Stevie Wonder tunes
When I was with ya.

Do you remember we did everything together?
I'd share my otter pops with you.
And we would sing in all the slimy slimy barrooms
We'd watch for your cousin Ed on the evening news
When I was with ya

I'd warm your tootsies up, they're always so cold
And I'd fix you supper from leftovers two weeks old
And I'd read you the classified ads in bed
And you would point out all the miserable lives
that I could have had instead of being with you

Could've been Whoopi Goldberg's breasts

Do you remember when you wrote all those letters?
Though I admit they were kind of sick
But still I knew I was your honey sugar dumpling
and just like a good line you'd always be there to lick
When I was with ya

Do you remember when you took all those classes?
All those crazy gadgets you would fix
I hated how cluttered our apartment was
I hated our landlord Harry, he was such a dick
When I was with ya

I'd warm your tootsies up, they're always so cold
And I'd fix you supper from leftovers two weeks old
And I'd read you the classified ads in bed
And you would point out all the miserable lives
that I could have had instead of being with you

Could've been Richard Nixon's last pair of clean underwear ?????

Do you remember when we went to Mexico
and stayed in that cute little place
We were honin' our fine love-makin' skills
and you tattooed "I love you" on your face
When I was with ya

I still remember the last time that I saw you
You left me with a hotdog in my hand
Was it cause I didn't want a pickle or was it a pretty senorita
Oh well, there was always stuff that I didn't understand
When I was with ya

I'd warm your tootsies up, they're always so cold
And I'd fix you supper from leftovers two weeks old
And I'd read you the classified ads in bed
And you would point out all the miserable lives
that I could have had instead of being with you Being with you

Being with you


Get Loose - Vanilla Ice
================================================================
Get Loose, Vanilla Ice is here with the juice.
No use for steppin' so give the bass a boost
Produced by the 3 man crew, Not a deuce just a hit man.
Keepin' rappers necks in a noose
I'm gettin' juiced up, But Vanilla's not souped up.
Check out the real dope track that I looped up
All you poo but sucka's plain' the back in fact black.
If you run up I'll flip you like a flapjack,
An' roll you up like a knappack

Crack that skull with bat
You should've known your rap's whack
You lack the style and skill to even get paid.
Grab the mic and you will verbally get slayed.
I raid the track like a terrorist
And with my napalm bomb lyrics, I got 'em scared of this.
So be prepared to be taken to the Twilight Zone
And the VIP is bad to the bone.

Ain't no way against me you can get juice
Ain't no way against me you can get juice
Ain't no way against me you can get juice
Back off the stage, An' watch Vanilla Ice get loose.
Get Loose...all the Ladies, Get Loose...all the Fellas, Get
Loose...all the brothers, Get Loose...all the Mothers, Get
Loose...all the Sisters, Get Loose...now the Dogs, Get
Loose...Everybody, here we go, here we go

Get loose as I boost the juice
Once more for the people who wanted it.
an' didn't know what's in store,
I've got another big hit
Of course a Vanilla rides the groove like a Gemballa Porsche.
I got Zero on the cut like a lumberjack better yet a Butcher
Guaranteed to put cha in the right mood
We make ya dance in a frenzy.

Sucka's gettin' mad cuz I'm getting all the Skins "G"
Plus I'm makin' all the ends "G".
And the women wanna ride my pickle like it was a bicycle
Or just lick it like a popsicle.
I got a little time to waste so baby put it in my face
I wanna taste you neta and I bet-cha,
I get-cha, right where I wan-cha,
And I'm about to let-cha have it.

I'm talking about my carrot, you're the bunny rabbit
Here it is baby doll, honey, grab it
Open up so I can have it.
Ooh...whee do like BBD and do me baby
You're the lady who makes Me looney
screamin' Ice ice Baby

Straight knockin' the boots just Cuz I'm a super star.
And she knows this that's why I do her far
Or should I say long, if you know what I mean.
I'm talking about my Ice cream - yea
I make the girls scream, as I give up the juice
Vanilla Ice is here, to make the girls get loose...


The Motorcycle Song - Arlo Guthrie
================================================================
I don't want a pickle, Just want to ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want a tickle, 'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want to die, Just want to ride on my motorcy...cle

It was late last night the other day
I thought I'd go up and see Ray
So l went up and I saw Ray
There was only one thing Ray could say, was:

I don't want a pickle, Just want to ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want a tickle, 'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want to die, Just want to ride on my motorcy...cle

This song is about the time that I was ridin' my motorcycle.
Going down a mountain road, at 150 miles an hour, playin'
my guitar. On one side of the mountain road there was a
mountain, and on the other side there was nothin' - there was
a cliff in the air.

Now, when you're going down a mountain road at I50 miles
an hour you gotta be very careful, especially if you're playin'
a guitar. Especially if that guitar is an acoustic guitar.
Because if it's an acoustic guitar, the wind pressure is greater
on the box side than on the neck side, because there's
more guitar on the box side. I wasn't payin' attention ..

Luckily I didn't go into the mountain - I went over the cliff.
I was goin' at 150 miles an hour sideways and 500 feet down
at the same time.

I knew it was the end. I looked down, I said ''Wow! Some
trip". I thought it...well I knew it was...I knew it was my last
trip, and in my last remaining seconds in world,I decided
to write one last farewell song to the world.

Put a new ink cartridge in my pen. Took out a piece of paper.
I sat back and I thought awhile. Then I started writin':

I don't want a pickle, Just want to ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want a tickle, 'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want to die, Just want to ride on my motorcy...cle

I knew that, it wasn't the best song l ever wrote, but I didn't
have time to change it. I was comin' down mighty fast.

But as you all know, and as fate would have it, I didn't die. I
landed on the top of a police car. And he died. I drove away
on the road that he was on. I came into town at a screamin'
175 miles an hour, playin' the motorcycle song.

I came into town, I jumped off my bike, the bike went around
the corner by itself, went up on the stand by itself, turned
itself off.

I walked over to my friend. He was standin' there eatin'
pickles. I said "Hi, what's happenin'?" He looked at me in the
eye and said "Nothin'".

You gotta sing it with that kind of enthusiasm. Like you just
squashed a cop...

------------------------------------------------
Submission 1 - PICKLES

The immediate and rather obvious connection is the use of the word "pickle"
in every poem. Its use, however, ranges greatly from poem to poem. For
example, in a couple of poems it is used as a brazen self-conceited symbolic
phallic representation intended to impress to the feminine audience and show
dominance over would-be masculine competitors (a more extreme example of
this comes from Borat of the Ali G Show, who claims to be "big like can of
Pepsi"). In other poems "pickle" is used in it common literal form, meaning
a preserved briny cucumber-derived food product often accompanying hotdogs,
cheeseburgers, or other such sandwiches. In the final poem it ... well, it
simply rhymes with "motorsickle".

I'm kind of turned off by the overexpression of self-absorbed male prowess
expressed by Vanilla Ice and Humpty. I enjoyed the hyperbolic absurdity of
the Arlo Gutherie piece, but don't see much depth to it. I also like the
lyrical way that Buffet taps into the inner cravings with which all readers
can identify (even veggitarians would probably long for a ripe juicy tomato
if denied it for a period of time), altough a vote for "Cheeseburger" would
probably increase my ranking in the popular/familiar voter stereotype
category. Although it is sad, desperate, and not necessarily all that
appealing to me personally, Jewel's piece probably has the most poetic
merit.

------------------------------------------------
Submission 2 - The Apostrophe

The clearest theme in these poems is laid down
by the Underground. They say:

"I'm the one who said
just grab 'em in the biscuits
Also told ya that I like to bite
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious,
I also like to write."

What does that mean, "just grab 'em in the
biscuits?"

Well, Frank Zappa said, "the crux of the
biscuit is ... the apostrophe." Good enough
for Frank is good enough for me.

The five poems selected contain a total of
195 apostrophe's. Look there! I just used an
apostrophe in the word "apostrophe's." Yeah,
I know it doesn't belong there, but I could
not resist.

Anyway, 195 apostrophe's, whoa. Man, would
Frank be proud! That's a lot of cruxiness in
them poems. Here's the breakdown:

Song               Apostrophes PctOfAvg
Humpty                82         210%
Cheeseburger          11          28%
Jewel                 26          67%
Vanilla Ice           34          87%
Motorsickle Song      42         108%

So by virtue of their incredible crux-like
tendencies it's DU by a mile. And they also
used the word biscuits. :-)

------------------------------------------------
Submission 3 - The ShoutOut

What's common among all these poems is how the artist
shouts out to their people from the prose.

Humpty gives props (I think) to the dancin'est poet
of the 80's, M.C. Hammer.

J. Buffet pays homage to the old time sailor men.

Jewel name drops Stevie Wonder and then later
furthers her dotage when she writes of being her
man's "honey sugar dumpling." Kind of like Stevie
did in "Do I Do" when he said,
"Yes I got some honey-suckle chocolate
dripping kisses full of love for you"
Plus there's the bit about Nixon and Whoopi Goldberg.

Vanilla Ice is difficult to make any sense out of,
but the one part I did get was the 3 man crew.
It's not a crew of drinking game dice players.
It's a one-upsman dip on 2 Live Crew -- the Lenny
Bruce of Modern Poets. But then he drops BBD, that's
Bell-Biv-Devoe, the New Edition remnants.

Arlo just shouts out Ray, the immortal who couldn't
say anything about anything except that pickle and
his motorsickle.

------------------------------------------------
Submission 4 - Decadence

Each of the five modern poems we were asked to write about has the theme of
decadence in it. The Digital Underground poem gets it started out with
"I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice." Clear and direct
decadence. Crackers *and* licorice? Then Humpty's gettin' busy in the
Burger King bathroom.

He's drinkin' up all the Hennesey we got on the shelf, and also he's still
gettin' paid, gettin' laid by the ladies, and livin' large -- and he said,
just grab 'em in the biscuits. What could the king of the Parrotheads do to
top that?

Well, maybe he doesn't top Shock G. and the DU, but he gets all up into the
lush life describing that burger -- lettuce and tomato, heinz 57 and french
fried potatoes and a big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer. Good God
almighty, the whole thing -- it's a metaphor for decadence. And surely he'd
approve of a busy Burger King bathroom.

Jewel's emotionally sappy poem has otter pops and a hot dog, and goofy talk
about honey sugar dumplings, but she embodies decadence herself. A poor
girl from Alaska writes one good line, "and you'd point out all the
miserable lives I could have had instead of being with you," and decides to
dump a bunch of whiny images around it to make a whole poem, sings it up in
a cutesy snaggletooth way of hers and bang, she's rich. Humpty and Jimmy
could learn a thing or two about decadence from Jewel.

V. Ice is getting all the skins G., plus he's making all the ends G. That's
street decadence for a homey from the Dallas suburbs.

Those who do whatever it is they want to do are perfectly decadent. That's
Arlo for you -- all he wants to do is ride his motorsickle and what does he
do? You guessed it. Plus he seems a little to happy about the squashed
cop.

Overall, Jewel's life is probably the most decadent.


------------------------------------------------
Submission 5 - Otherworldly travel through the fabric of spacetime


It's impossible to give serious reading to the five poems in this edition of
Modern Poetry without noticing the obvious strength of the common theme:
Otherworldly travel through the fabric of spacetime. When Humpty asks, "Yo
world! I hope you're ready for me," he doesn't mean just this world.

Buffet starts right out about how he made it nearly 70 days on the
vegetarian diet. Unspoken is his burning desire to have begun the diet on a
speed vessel traveling at (or near) light-speed. See then he could take a
five minute trip to wherever that gets you out there and then return home.
70 days at home will have passed but he'd only have been suffering for a few
minutes.

Jewel's poetry makes very little sense, kind of like a lot of advanced
physics theories which are used to describe near-light-speed travel and
otherworldly travel through spacetime. Maybe Jewel is the Stephen Hawking
of emotions.

Vanilla Ice's rise to fame was meteoric. Meteors travel fast but not really
like near-light speed, but for Vanilla Ice it will have to do.

Nothing of Arlo Guthrie's poem is of this world. Writing poems at 150 mph
and thinking about pickles is usually a good way to get yourself killed, but
Arlo saw what he thought was a cop car on the way down. It wasn't a cop car
though, it was a wormhole -- a fantastic ripple in the spacetime continuum
that, once you enter it, pops you out at another place and time.

I don't think any of these five poets would be a particularly good guide for
travel through other dimensions, but if I had to take one it'd be Buffet --
he'd have tequila.


------------------------------------------------
Submission 6 - Modern Physics and Mysticism

The poem, The Humpty Dance, states that "no two people will do it the same."
This is kind of like no two finger prints being the same or no two
snowflakes. While it's easy to believe these things, are we sure there is
proof? Two people could do it the same, couldn't they? The humpty dance I
mean. And if you observe two people doing it, how do you know they would
have done it the same if you hadn't been watching? The mystical ending
"peace and humptiness forever" ties the uncertainty together with a zen-like
wish to all the readers of this amusing poem.

The Cheeseburger poem is straight up religious but I wonder whether "warm
beer that could raise the dead" conflicts with the idea that Polka mystics
and Jamaican rastafarians believe, that "in heaven there is no beer / that's
why we drink it here." Virtue and vice and sacrifice show Jimmy B. is a
deep religious thinker. No uncertainty with him.

The Jewel poem, When I Was With You, shows Jewel as a writer of some talent.
In it she meets a roughneck who can see all her miserable lives when she
wasn't with him. This poem itself has even had two lives. The notes state
that she wrote it with a guy, but in the first version, he supplied the
words. These are her words. I hope his are better. If a poem can have two
lives and a person in the poem in its second life can see the other
character's multiple lives all in the one life of the poem -- does the
opposing character in the poem's first life see his? Ok, it's not the tree
falling in the woods or the clapping of one hand but it does have a decent
beat and you can meditate to it.

The catchy poem from Vanilla Ice, Get Loose, says you better "be prepared to
be taken to the Twilight Zone." Is the twilight zone somewhere beyond the
known universe, somewhere in the tiny tiny known only to quantum physicists,
or somewhere deep in the recesses of VI's innermost mind?

Arlo Guthrie's poem about the motorsickle shows some interesting properties
of physics, the most important being the fact that Arlo doesn't know much
about physics. Before demonstrating this lack though, Arlo drops some deep
thoughts, "on one side of the mountain road was a mountain and on the other
was nothin', there was a cliff in the air." Well Arlo, a cliff and air
aren't really nothin'. And Nothin', as readers of the MP know, ain't worth
nothin' but it's free. Nothin's deep and inspiring and what you meditate
on. Arlo's real confused about wind resistance though. He say's the wind
pressure's greater on the box side than the neck side of a guitar becuase
there's more guitar on the box side when really it's the hole and not the
"amount of guitar" on that side.

The unifying theme from these poems is the comparison and contrast of modern
physics and the leading thinkers from eastern mysticism. Nice collection.


------------------------------------------------
NOTES AND STAFF QUESTIONS

Hey Now! From the questions that have rolled in from the teeming dozens
of MP critiquers, I'm impressed by how seriously some of you are taking
this.

Further, the whole MP office is amused at the request for extended office
hours to deal with your questions one by one. This request is being tabled
until the next Democratic congress is able to give a full hearing. Till
then, you have questions? E-mail, my bredren and sistren.

Here then, for all, are the answers to your most pressing questions:

1. Digital Underground is not related to Dostoevsky's Notes From
Underground. It's true Fyodor was indeed "Livin' Large" in the early
1840's, but later spent 10 years in prison, days he described as "not as
large." Not sure how big his nose was.

2. "Medium rare with mustard íbe nice" is generally taken literally, while
"Heaven on earth with an onion slice" is not; it's but a figure of speech,
and not meant to imply anything onion-y about the hereafter.

3. Jewel uses Tootsies to mean feet, I think, or maybe toes -- not Whoopi's
breasts.

4. It is true that an acoustic guitar has more wind resistance than an
electric guitar.

5. Lumpy, in reference to oatmeal, means lumpy.

6. Big Kosher Pickle is indeed kosher. Cold Draft Beer could be.
Cheeseburger, not kosher.

7. "I'm talking about my carrot, you're the bunny rabbit. Here it is baby
doll, honey, grab it" means what you think it means.

8. Saccharine is an appropriate adjective to use about Jewel's writing,
though I can think of better ones.

OK, hope that helps. MP faithful, join me in welcoming in, Jen G.,
a new editorial addition to our Chicago office. Jen, we expect big
things from you. If anyone else would like to nominate additional editors
to the list of MP, send 'em on and the MP minister of information will begin
performing the background checks. There is only one condition: to be on
the list of MP Editors means you also get the other crap. I only have one
list.