Modern Poetry Edition #19, (Odes from the Ladies)


In a runaway vote, the MP readers have shown impeccable taste
in awarding MPulitzer #19 to Liz Phair for her excellent
sonnetary submission. A true modern poem, rather than
an old-style poem masquerading in modern context, it exhibits
Liz's ability to show as well as tell.

Who knew Liz would later covet the hotspot in Ryan Seacrest's
countdown? But no matter, Liz. Once your in the MP inner 
sanctum, you cannot be cast out. Even if you start a Britney
like career. Come to think of it, Britney's in the club as
well. And Brit's fantastic remake of B.Brown's "My Prerogative"
makes us glad she's here.

Props to many voters. Scores are in from the voter-watchers and 
pollsters and you all have a voter score -- you know, like Kerry 
in the Senate has a conservative rating of about zero, votes for
new taxes like 98% of the time. And (equal time requires) Bush
would score about negative 5 million with the ACLU and Ashcroft 
could change his ways and live to 99 and never have a rating that
good.

So here are some of the results with the highest influencing 
factor listed:

BWF - Lyrical Quality and Intellecutal Content Voter (87%)
DH - Popularity and Accessibility (92%)
STM - Goofiness & Cursing (63%); Obscurity (63%)
MQS - Roots and Ireland (58%)
DG - Classic Rock (68%)
ALR - Hip Hop & Lyrical Content (84%)
JB - Subversive/Communist (61%)

ALR and BWF have voted for the winners most times, even though 
no one really has a strong track record.

Next week you'll all be voting for Van The Man -- no write-ins.

# 19 #
[10/10/04]
No Scrubs - TLC
Tramp - Carla Thomas (Rufus' daughter!) and Otis Redding
Tyrone - Erykah
You Oughta Know - Alanis
**Divorce Song - Liz Phair

**Winner of MPulitzer

First we had the odes to the ladies, now we get five odes 
from the ladies. I think these are all pretty good and 
even though Erykah starts her ode with "I'm gettin' tired 
of your shit," hers is not the best of the bunch here IMO.

I think one of these stands well above the others. Spot it
and get your vote in.

So here they are, the Odes to the gents from the ladies.

Vote for one each in MP's #18 & #19. Next week we will
take care of some housecleaning and also induct Van into 
the MPulitzer winner's club.

No Scrubs by T.L.C. 
=====================================
A scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly
And is also known as a buster
Always talkin' about what he wants
And just sits on his broke ass
So (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time and (no)

I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hangin' out the passenger side Of his best friend's ride
Tryin' to holler at me

There's a scrub checkin' me
But his game is kinda weak
And I know that he cannot approach me
Cuz I'm lookin' like class and he's lookin' like trash
Can't get wit' no deadbeat ass
So (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time (no)

I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hangin' out the passenger side Of his best friend's ride
Tryin' to holler at me

If you don't have a car and you're walking 
Oh yes son I'm talkin' to you
If you live at home wit' your momma
Oh yes son I'm talkin' to you (baby)
If you have a shorty that you don't show love
Oh yes son I'm talkin' to you
Wanna get with me with no money
Oh no I don't want no (oh)

No scrub
No scrub (no no)
No scrub (no no no no no)
No scrub (no no)
No


Tramp - Otis and Carla
=====================================
Tramp!
What you call me?
Tramp.
You didn't!
You don't wear continental clothes, 
or Stetson hats.
Well I tell you one dog-gone thing. 
It makes me feel good to know one thing. 
I know I'm a lover.
Matter of opinion.
That's all right, Mama was. Papa too. 
And I'm the only child. 
Lovin' is all I know to do.
You know what, Otis?
What?
You're country.
That's all right.
You straight from the Georgia woods.
That's good.
You know what? You wear overalls, and big 
old brogan shoes, and you need a haircut, Tramp.
Haircut? Woman, you foolin'...ooh...I'm a lover. 
Mama was. Grandmama, Papa too. Boogaloo. 
All that stuff. And I'm the only son-of-a-gun 
this side of the Sun. Tramp!
You know what, Otis? I don't care what you say, 
you're still a tramp.
What?
That's right. You haven't even got a fat bankroll 
in your pocket. You probably haven't even got 
twenty-five cents.
I got six Cadillacs, five Lincolns, four Fords, 
six Mercuries, three T-Birds, Mustang, 
ooooooohhh...I'm a lover. Mama was. Papa too. 
I tell you one thing.
Well tell me.
I'm the only son-of-a-gun this side of the Sun.
You're a tramp, Otis.
No I'm not.
I don't care what you say, you're still a tramp.
What's wrong with that?
Look here. You ain't got no money.
I got everything.
You can't buy me all those minks and sables 
and all that stuff I want.
I can buy you minks, rats, frogs, squirrels, 
rabbits, ...anything you want, Woman.
Look, you can go out in the Georgia woods and 
find them, Baby.
Oh, you foolin'.
You're still a tramp.
That's all right.
You a tramp, Otis. You just a tramp.
That's all right.
You wear overalls. You need a haircut, Baby. Cut 
off some of that hair off your head. 
You think you a lover, huh?


Tyrone by Erykah Badu
=====================================
I'm gettin' tired of your shit
You don't never buy me nothin'
See Everytime you come around
You got to bring Jim, James, Paul, & Tyrone
See why can't we be by ourselves, sometimes
See I've been having this on my mind
For a long time
I just want it to be
You and me
Like It used to be, Baby
But ya don't know how to act
So matter of fact

I think ya better call Tyrone
And Tell him come on, Help you get your Shit
You need to Call Tyrone
And tell him I said come on

Now everytime I ask you for a little cash
You say no and turn right around and ask me for some ass
Oh, Well hold up
Listen partna
I ain't no cheap thrill
Cause Miss Badu is always comin' for real
And you know the deal
Everytime we go somewhere
I gotta reach down in my purse
To pay your way and your homeboys way
And sometimes your cousin's way
They don't never have to pay
Don't have no cars
Hang around in bars
Try to hang around with stars
Like Badu
I'm gon' tell you the truth
Show and prove
or get the boot
I think ya better, (Call Him)
And tell him come on
Help you get your shit
You need to call Tyrone (Call Him)
"Hold On"
But ya can't use my phone


You Oughta Know by Alanis Morrisette
=====================================
I want you to know that I'm happy for you 
I wish nothing but the best for you both 
An older version of me 
Is she perverted like me 
Would she go down on you in a theater 
Does she speak eloquently 
And would she have your baby 
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother 

'Cause the love that you gave that we made 
wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no 
And every time you speak her name 
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me 
Until you died, 'til you died 
But you're still alive 

And I'm here to remind you 
Of the mess you left when you went away 
It's not fair to deny me 
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me 
You, you, you oughta know 

You seem very well, things look peaceful 
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know 
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity 
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner 
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced 
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her 

'Cause the love that you gave that we made 
wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no 
And every time you speak her name 
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me 
Until you died, 'til you died 
But you're still alive 

'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me 
And I'm not gonna fade 
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it 
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back 
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it


Divorce Song by Liz Phair
=====================================
And when I asked for a separate room
It was late at night, and we'd been driving since noon
But if I'd known how that would sound to you
I would have stayed in your bed for the rest of my life
Just to prove I was right

That it's harder to be friends than lovers
And you shouldn't try to mix the two
'Cause if you do it and you're still unhappy
Then you know that the problem is you
And it's true that I stole your lighter
And it's also true that I lost the map
But when you said that I wasn't worth talking to
I had to take your word on that
But if you'd known how that would sound to me
You would have taken it back

And boxed it up and buried it in the ground
Boxed it up and buried it in the ground
Boxed it up and buried it in the ground
Burned it up and thrown it away

You put in my hands a loaded gun
And then told me not to fire it
When you did the things you said were up to me
And then accused me of trying to fuck it up
But you've never been a waste of my time
It's never been a drag
So take a deep breath and count back from ten
And maybe you'll be alright
And the license said you had to stick around until I was dead
But if you're tired of looking at my face, I guess I already am
But you've never been a waste of my time
It's never been a drag
So take a deep breath and count back from ten
And maybe you'll be alright