# 5 #

[5/12/04]

Star Of The County Down - Traditional, arranged by Van Morrison

Fine Girl - FZ

99 Problems - Jay Z.

**Tapestry by Carole King

Bell Boy by The Who

**Winner of MPulitzer

Remember, though the Modern Poetry is for those of immature mentality, its

readership is assumed to be of mature age. MP is fun for the people.

Our sincere apologies to any who are offended. I had myself forgotten that

Kool Moe Dee didn't come up in the age of political correctness. Still 'Go

See the Doctor' is a witty, charming and nostalgiac look at, well at STD's

back in the day -- nothing more.

I declare KMD the winner of the MPulitzer for last week. This week, submit

your vote for the best of the bunch. 

Star Of The County Down - Traditional, arranged by Van Morrison

===============================================================

In Banbridge Town in the County Down

One morning last July,

From a boreen green came a sweet colleen

And she smiled as she passed me by.

She looked so sweet fronn her two bare feet

To the sheen of her nut brown hair.

Such a coaxing elf, sure I shook myself

For to see I was really there.

From Bantry Bay up to Derry Quay and

From Galway to Dublin Town,

No maid I've seen like the brown colleen

That I met in the County Down.

As she onward sped, sure I scratched my head,

And I looked with a feelin' rare,

And I say's, say's I, to a passer-by,

Whose the maid with the nut brown hair?

He smiled at me and he says's, say's he,

That's the gem of Ireland's crown.

It's Rosie McCann from the banks of the Bann,

She's the star of the County Down.

From Bantry Bay up to Derry Ouay and

From Galway to Dublin Town,

No maid I've seen like the brown colleen

That I met in the County Down.

At the Harvest Fair she'll be surely there

And I'll dress in my Sunday clothes,

With my shoes shone bright and my hat cocked

Right for a smile from my nut brown rose.

No pipe I'll smoke, no horse I'll yoke

Till my plough turns rust coloured brown.

Till a smiling bride, by my own fireside

Sits the star of the County Down.

Fine Girl by Frank Zappa

==============================

Oh yeah,

She was a fine girl

She could get down wit de get down

All de way down

She do yer laundry

She change a tire

Chop a little wood for de fire

Poke it around ... if it died down

Oh yeah,

She was a fine girl

She go up in the mornin'

She go down in the evenin'... all de way down

She do the dishes

If you wishes

Silverware too

Make it look brand new... when she get through

Oh yeah,

She was a fine girl

Outa this world

Well, yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, well,

Oh yeah,

She was a fine girl

She could get down wit de get down

All de way down

She do your laundry

She change a tire

Chop a little wood for de fire

Poke it around ... if it died rlown

Oh yeah

She was a fine girl

With a lovely smile

With a bucket on her head

Fulla water from de well

She could run a mile

Oh yeah

She wouldn't spill a drop

It'd stay on top

Her head was kinda flat

But her hair covered that

She was a fine girl

Didn't need no school

She was built like a mule

With a thong sandal

Well, wasn't no kinda job she could not handle

She could get down ... wit de get down

All de way down

We need some more like dat, in dis kinda town

We need some more like dat, in dis kinda town

99 Problems by Jay Z

=================================================

If your havin girl problems i feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

[Verse One]

I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol

Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed

Rap critics that say he's "Money Cash Hoes"

I'm from the hood stupid what type of facts are those

If you grew up with O's and you zap the toes

You'd celebrate the minute you was havin doe

I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole

If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward

Got beef with radio if i don't play they show

They don't play my hits well i don't give a shit SO

Rap mags try and use my black ass

So advertisers can give em more cash for ads...fuckers

I don't know what you take me as

or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has

I'm from rags to riches nigga i ain't dumb

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

Hit me

[Chorus]

99 Problems but a bitch ain't one

If you havin girl problems i feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

Hit me

[Verse Two]

The year is '94 and in my trunk is raw

In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin law

I got two choices yall pull over the car or

Bounce on the devil put the pedal to the floor

Now i ain't tryin to see no highway chase with jake

Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case

So i...pull over to the side of the road

And i heard "Son do you know why i'm stoppin you for?"

Cause i'm young and i'm black and my hats real low

Do i look like a mind reader sir, i don't know

Am i under arrest or should i guess some mo?

"Well you was doin fifty five in a fifty four"

"Liscense and registration and step out of the car"

"Are you carryin a weapon on you i know alot of you are"

I ain't steppin out of shit all my papers legit

"Do you mind if i look round the car a little bit?"

Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk and the back

And i know my rights so you gon' need a warrent for that

"Aren't you sharp as a tack are some type of lawyer or something?"

"Or somebody important or somethin?"

Nah I ain't pass the bar but I know a little bit

Enough that you won't illegally search my shit

"Well see how smart you are when the K-9's come"

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

Hit me

[Chorus]

99 Problems but a bitch ain't one

If you havin girl problems i feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

Hit me

[Verse Three]

Now once upon a time not too long ago

A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe

This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy

But a pussy havin no God Damn sense, try and push me

I tried to inore him and talk to the Lord

Pray for him, cause some fools just love to perform

You know the type loud as a motor bike

But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight

The only thing that's gonna happen is i'mma get to clappin

He and his boys gon be yappin to the captain

And there i go traped in the kit kat again

Back through the system with the riff raff again

Fiends on the floor scratchin again

Paparatzi's with they cameras snappin them

D.A. tred to give the nigga the shaft again

Half-a-mil for bail cause i'm African

All because ths fool was harrasin them

Tryin to play the boy like hes saccarin

But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how i hold my gun

I got 99 problems but this bitch ain't one

[Chorus]

99 Problems but a bitch ain't one

If you havin girl problems i feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

Hit me

You're crazy for this one Rick

It's your boy

Tapestry by Carole King

============================================================

My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue

An everlasting vision of the ever-changing view

A wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold

A tapestry to feel and seem impossible to hold

Once amid the soft silver sadness in the sky

There came a man of fortune, a drifter passing by

He wore a torn and tattered cloth around his leathered hide

And a coat of many colors, yellow-green on either side

He moved with some uncertainty, as if he didn't know

Just what he was there for, or where he ought to go

Once he reached for something golden hanging from a tree

And his hand come down empty

Soon within my tapestry along the rutted road

He sat down on a river rock and turned into a toad

It seemed that he had fallen into someone's wicked spell

And I wept to see him suffer, though I didn't know him well

As I watched in sorrow, there suddenly appeared

A figure gray and ghostly beneath a flowing beard

In times of deepest darkness, I've seen him dressed in black

Now my tapestry's unraveling; he's come to take me back

He's come to take me back

Bell Boy by The Who

==========================

(Keith's theme) The beach is a place where a man can feel

He's the only soul in the world that's real,

Well I see a face coming through the haze,

I remember him from those crazy days.

Ain't you the guy who used to set the paces

Riding up in front of a hundred faces,

I don't suppose you would remember me,

But I used to follow you back in '63.

I've got a good job

And I'm newly born.

You should see me dressed up in my uniform.

I work in hotel, all gilt and flash.

Remember the place where the doors were smashed?

Bell Boy! I got to keep running now.

Bell Boy! Keep my lip buttoned down.

Bell Boy! Carry this baggage out.

Bell Boy! Always running at someone's heel.

You know how I feel, always running at someone's heel.

Some nights I still sleep on the beach.

Remember when stars were in reach.

Then I wander in early to work,

Spend the day licking boots for my perks.

A beach is a place where a man can feel etc.

People often change

But when I look in your eyes,

You could learn a lot from

A job like mine.

The secret to me

Isn't flown like a flag

I carry it behind

This little badge

What says...

Bell Boy!